Easter Weekend Report

Easter weekend!  One of the two times a year that I’m a Catholic, the other being Christmas.  Good Friday was truly a good Friday since I was allowed to work from home.  As expected we busted butt early in the morning to get everything caught up, then we were able to coast through the rest of the day.  After work Melissa and I made our pilgrimage to Birmingham to see her family. 
Saturday was pretty uneventful.  Melissa went bridesmaids dress shopping with two of her long time friends, I stayed at the house and worked on and cleaned her car with her father.  Saturday night we went to Mass.  Which Melissa and I thought was just going to be your standard, sit down, stand up, kneel, sit back, try to not throw up as you watch everyone drink out of the same cup, run of the mill Mass.  But alas, this wasn’t a standard Mass, it was a combo confirmation/candle lit Easter Vigil Mass.  The Easter Vigil was beautiful, the confirmation was long, but made enjoyable by the little in front of us that kept taking pictures of her parents and grandparents butts when they did the stand up parts.  Two and a half hours later, they fed us.  Side note, I think it’s so gross that everyone drinks from the same cup!  Gag!  Us that were raised Southern Baptist are used to everyone getting their own little mini shot glass with half a sip of grape juice in it. 
Sunday I was tasked with Picking up the long time family friend who can’t get around that well.  I show up at her house, get her loaded in the car and head down the driveway, at which point she turns to me and declares, “Oh, I know who you are!  You’re Cas.”  Apparently she’ll just jump in the car with anyone and go for a ride.  Lunch was lovely, and then we headed home.
I count Monday as part of the weekend since I work 10 hour shifts and get a three day weekend every weekend.  Melissa and I did some running around in town.  We bought another tree for the yard, and after a loud “discussion” between the two us on where said tree should be placed, we planted it lovingly into the ground.  Melissa stated that earlier she saw Mags dragging her butt, so that means it is time for the family gland expressing.  *disclaimer, this is about to get gross, if you have a weak stomach or small children you may want to look away.  We round up Mags, get her into the bathroom, Melissa holds her over the tub and with my gloved hand  and TP I start the expressing process.  This normally goes off without a hitch, glands express right into the TP, TP is flushed, glove is tossed, Mags is bathed.  Everyone is happy, Monday….  Not so much.  Starts out as expected, but then out of nowhere the gland goes into some sort of post sex split pee stream that covers Melissa and I with its smelly goodness. After this I’m not even sure if I got her glands fully expressed, there was too much screaming and gagging to continue.  The bathroom window was flung open, the poot fan fired up, shower water turned on, and clothes started flying as Melissa, Mags and I all dove into the shower to get this crap off of us.  Oh the things we’ll do to save 11 dollars and a trip to the vet…