Where have I been?

I'm sure no one has wondered where I've been, but too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway.  I've been working away, doing nothing too spectacular.  But part of my job is to do a weekly report.  At the start of the report I've started writing little lead ins that I try to make humorous.  Apparently since I've started doing that I've been neglecting my blog.  I've posted a few of my lead ins into my blog just so I'd have something posted, but no one knew that's what I was doing.  But now that the cat is out of the bag I figured I'd post another one.  This is my lead in from my report sent on July 5th.

Welcome back from the long holiday weekend everyone.  I hope everyone enjoyed their 4^th of July and are back at work typing with all your fingers.  I can just picture how much fun the first 4^th of July was.  George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Ben Franklin, Davey Crockett,  and Paul Giamatti hanging out around the pool, knocking back some brews, grilling some meat Davey C rocket had killed that morning, and telling stories about their wild and crazy youth.  Those founding fathers of ours were having such a great time that they decided to declare every Fourth of July Independence from work day, which was later shortened to Independence Day to better fit on the calendar then shortened even further to ID4 to fit on the cover of the moving picture history book of the greatest Fourth of July ever when Will Smith stopped the Alien invasion.  Those Brave men had the foresight to know that all future generations would enjoy a day off of work in the middle of summer to drink adult beverages, fire up the grills and hang out in and around bodies of water.  George Washington, being the prankster that he was, thought it would be funny to light some explosives in the air to scare the other guys.  While he did scare them, the sight and sound of the explosion was such a beautiful ending to a beautiful day it was decided right then and there that every fourth of July be ended with a bang, thus creating our tradition of the fireworks spectacular. Thinking like this is what has made our country the greatest country in the history of countries.  Ask yourself, does Rome have a 4^th of July?  What about France?  I would bet my paycheck that if you looked at the calendar of any other country they skip straight from the 3^rd of July to the 5^th of July because only America is great enough to have a 4^th day in July.  So God Bless our founding fathers, God Bless America, and God Bless, *company that this report is for*