Thursday, December 10, 2009

Keys to a successful conversation with Cas

Below you will find key terms that will help you understand a conversation with me. You may want to study these terms as they will probably be used in future blog post. Updates to this list will probably be added from time to time as I know this list isn't complete as of 12/10/2009, and my commonly used terms grow on a daily basis.

Goosedumps – the goosebumps that foreshadow an oncoming case of the muddbutt.

Mudd butt – A bowel movement that is the consistency of wet earth.

Sackin’ it – Relaxing at the house with no plans of doing nothing at all.

Do work – A term used to describe joy, and excite, also used for encouragement, informing one that you have a need to empty your bowels, and am about to go and do such.

Ah Stinky in my pants – The Christian way of exclaiming “Oh Sh*t!”

Holy stinky – The Christian way of Exclaiming “Holy Sh*t!”

Homos naked – expressing that you do not understand the previously stated statement. Spoken by Joe Dirt in the Movie “Joe Dirt” when he could not understand his Cajun neighbor telling him that “home is where you make it”

Big gulps aye? – An expression used when someone is trying to get out of an awkward conversation after a long pause or silence. Spoken by Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber when talking to some thuggish looking minorities when leaving a Seven11, “Big gulps aye!? Whelp see you later!”

Corner of oneway and oneway - A phrase that was coined when asked where I was while standing in the crowd waiting for the ball to drop in New York City New Years Eve 2002.
Caller: “Where are you?”
Cas: “ I’m, um, standing on the corner of One Way and One Way”

Look it’s David Letterman - This term was coined while standing in the same crowd for New Years Eve 2002. This phrase was and is used to divert attention when a joke bombs.
Punch line: “How could I, we’re not even married!”
“Look! It’s David Letterman!” *crowd turns and starts looking for David Letterman

Drop a duce – Stating that you need to go the facilities and go number Two.
“That China Moon is not sitting well, I’ve got to go drop a duce”

Look a unicorn – Another expression created to divert the attention of your audience off of you, normally followed by, “I guess it was just a regular horse”. Spoken by Chester in Dude where’s my car when their boss, at the pizza parlor was angry at them for not delivering their pizza’s and one of said pizza’s was about to fall from the ceiling in front of their angry boss.

That’s a huge B word - Christian way of saying, “That’s a Huge Bit*h” as said in Deuce Bigalow when Duce was out on a date with an extremely tall young lady.
Person one: “Look at how big that house is!”
Person two: “That’s a huge B-word!”

What the duce – Exclamation of surprise caused by either hearing something or seeing something surprising.

Effin – Christian way of dropping the dreaded “F-bomb”.
“It’s the Effin Catalina Wine Mixer!”

Doing work work – having to go number two while at work.

Perma nip – Describing a lady that, no matter the temperature, always appears to be cold.

Breezy wood- Most often experience by men in the morning or when extremely sleepy. During these times a certain part of the male anatomy will respond most unfavorably to the slightest touch or softest breeze.

Trappa keepa – A tool used by school students the world over for storing notes and other needed school supplies. Also a needed tool by the male student population to cover his midsection while walking down the hall with a boner.

Interweb – A term used by those who are not technically savvy to call the internet. It was noted in an article that anyone who calls the internet the interweb is a complete moron, so this term has now been adopted by myself and other associates to be used when talking about the internet.

Boats and Hoes – Phrase that can be used when there is nothing else that needs to be said. This was the chorus for the first release from the newly formed “Prestige Worldwide” in the movie “Step Brothers”

She’s a beaut Clark – From the movie “Christmas Vacation”. Used when asked how you feel something looks.
Person one: “What do you think of my drawing?”
Person two: “She’s a beaut Clark”

TWSS –Chat and text way of saying “That’s what she said”
Chatter one: Dude, that’s huge!
Chatter two: TWSS

That’s not WWJD – (What Would Jesus Do) - A reply to a comment that isn’t very Jesus like.
Person one; “How about Jim out there smoking crack?”
Person two: “yeah, that’s not WWJD right there”

WWBD – (What Would Bob Do) - An appropriate response to something that isn’t WWJD.
Person One: “Yeah, but it is WWBD”
Person Two: “Fo Sho!”

Crop dusting – Walking by an area of people while passing gas leaving them to smell the passed gas seconds after you have already vacated the area.

When in Rome – A phrase that can be used at any time in response to a question or statement. Generally when it doesn’t apply to the situation at all. From the movie “Anchorman” when Ron Burgundy didn’t understand the proper way to use the commonly used phrase.

Boom goes the dynamite – Catch phrase started by Ball State University Reporter Brian Collins during his first news cast when the teleprompter was moving too fast for him and he became extremely flustered.

9:30 showing of Jesus – Describes the 9:30 Sunday morning service at a church that has multiple services. Most often known as the contemporary service.

Person one: Where you at church this morning, I didn’t see you.
Person two: Yeah we had something to do this afternoon so we went to the 9:30 showing of Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. OK, hilarious post, I used about 50% of those phrases! And let's see some movie reviews/quote games!! :D