Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Quote a-thon

Alright people, it's quiz time! Below will be some of my all time favorite movie quotes. It's your job to see how many you can get right.

1. Inconceivable!

2. Get busy living, or get busy dying

3. I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little more rocky than this.
Yeah, that John Denver's full shit man

4. Your an angry Elf

5. I love lamp

6. I'm your Huckleberry

7. Adventure, excitement... a Jedi craves not these things.

8. That chick frosted me like a cake!

I think is enough for now. I put too many in this first movie quote post I can't have more post later on.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Something serious, for once

I’m taking a break from the blog post that everyone is accustom to seeing from me to post what many may call a “real blog post”. Let me preface this by saying when I clean I like to have the TV on, and I like for it to be playing a movie that I’ve seen a hundred times so I won’t feel like I’m missing something as I’m cleaning. Well I found that the Band of Brothers miniseries is the perfect thing to watch while cleaning. Band of Brother’s is 10 hours long, filled with action, and appeals to my history loving side. So anyway, I’m watching Band of Brothers, I mean cleaning while Band of Brothers is on, and no matter how many times I watch Band of Brothers it still amazes me what these men did. I do not like war, I wish we didn’t have to fight wars, but I’m totally blown away by the acts/bravery of soldiers. Band of Brothers really hits me hard because it’s not just a Hollywood movie, it’s based on real life. All the “characters” that you form an attachment to, have a real life attached to them. Every “Character” that dies in Band of Brothers represents an American life that didn’t come home. In this unpopular war that our country is fighting right now I feel we have lost sight of the fact that rather you personally support the war or not please support our troops. These troops are our neighbors, our neighbor’s sons and daughters, our own family members, and our fellow countrymen/women. With Christmas fast approaching take a second to think of our men and women who are missing time with their family, who would give anything to be sitting in your seat with your brother’s/sister’s child screaming, hearing your grandfather tell the same joke/story that he tells every year, and the family arguments that are always brought up. I just want to take this time to say “THANK YOU!” to all our veterans and active military for everything that they have done and are doing, not just for me but for the entire country. I feel Toby Keith said it best when he said, "Built Ford Tough", or maybe it was "How do you like me now"? I'm pretty sure he's sang a song that applies to this so go check out his albums.

Rolling with the homies...

As a team Christmas Party function everyone in my department went bowling last week. Below is a copy of the email chain that was spawned after said bowling event. I hope you enjoy. *Giggity*

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Keys to a successful conversation with Cas

Below you will find key terms that will help you understand a conversation with me. You may want to study these terms as they will probably be used in future blog post. Updates to this list will probably be added from time to time as I know this list isn't complete as of 12/10/2009, and my commonly used terms grow on a daily basis.

Goosedumps – the goosebumps that foreshadow an oncoming case of the muddbutt.

Mudd butt – A bowel movement that is the consistency of wet earth.

Sackin’ it – Relaxing at the house with no plans of doing nothing at all.

Do work – A term used to describe joy, and excite, also used for encouragement, informing one that you have a need to empty your bowels, and am about to go and do such.

Ah Stinky in my pants – The Christian way of exclaiming “Oh Sh*t!”

Holy stinky – The Christian way of Exclaiming “Holy Sh*t!”

Homos naked – expressing that you do not understand the previously stated statement. Spoken by Joe Dirt in the Movie “Joe Dirt” when he could not understand his Cajun neighbor telling him that “home is where you make it”

Big gulps aye? – An expression used when someone is trying to get out of an awkward conversation after a long pause or silence. Spoken by Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber when talking to some thuggish looking minorities when leaving a Seven11, “Big gulps aye!? Whelp see you later!”

Corner of oneway and oneway - A phrase that was coined when asked where I was while standing in the crowd waiting for the ball to drop in New York City New Years Eve 2002.
Caller: “Where are you?”
Cas: “ I’m, um, standing on the corner of One Way and One Way”

Look it’s David Letterman - This term was coined while standing in the same crowd for New Years Eve 2002. This phrase was and is used to divert attention when a joke bombs.
Punch line: “How could I, we’re not even married!”
“Look! It’s David Letterman!” *crowd turns and starts looking for David Letterman

Drop a duce – Stating that you need to go the facilities and go number Two.
“That China Moon is not sitting well, I’ve got to go drop a duce”

Look a unicorn – Another expression created to divert the attention of your audience off of you, normally followed by, “I guess it was just a regular horse”. Spoken by Chester in Dude where’s my car when their boss, at the pizza parlor was angry at them for not delivering their pizza’s and one of said pizza’s was about to fall from the ceiling in front of their angry boss.

That’s a huge B word - Christian way of saying, “That’s a Huge Bit*h” as said in Deuce Bigalow when Duce was out on a date with an extremely tall young lady.
Person one: “Look at how big that house is!”
Person two: “That’s a huge B-word!”

What the duce – Exclamation of surprise caused by either hearing something or seeing something surprising.

Effin – Christian way of dropping the dreaded “F-bomb”.
“It’s the Effin Catalina Wine Mixer!”

Doing work work – having to go number two while at work.

Perma nip – Describing a lady that, no matter the temperature, always appears to be cold.

Breezy wood- Most often experience by men in the morning or when extremely sleepy. During these times a certain part of the male anatomy will respond most unfavorably to the slightest touch or softest breeze.

Trappa keepa – A tool used by school students the world over for storing notes and other needed school supplies. Also a needed tool by the male student population to cover his midsection while walking down the hall with a boner.

Interweb – A term used by those who are not technically savvy to call the internet. It was noted in an article that anyone who calls the internet the interweb is a complete moron, so this term has now been adopted by myself and other associates to be used when talking about the internet.

Boats and Hoes – Phrase that can be used when there is nothing else that needs to be said. This was the chorus for the first release from the newly formed “Prestige Worldwide” in the movie “Step Brothers”

She’s a beaut Clark – From the movie “Christmas Vacation”. Used when asked how you feel something looks.
Person one: “What do you think of my drawing?”
Person two: “She’s a beaut Clark”

TWSS –Chat and text way of saying “That’s what she said”
Chatter one: Dude, that’s huge!
Chatter two: TWSS

That’s not WWJD – (What Would Jesus Do) - A reply to a comment that isn’t very Jesus like.
Person one; “How about Jim out there smoking crack?”
Person two: “yeah, that’s not WWJD right there”

WWBD – (What Would Bob Do) - An appropriate response to something that isn’t WWJD.
Person One: “Yeah, but it is WWBD”
Person Two: “Fo Sho!”

Crop dusting – Walking by an area of people while passing gas leaving them to smell the passed gas seconds after you have already vacated the area.

When in Rome – A phrase that can be used at any time in response to a question or statement. Generally when it doesn’t apply to the situation at all. From the movie “Anchorman” when Ron Burgundy didn’t understand the proper way to use the commonly used phrase.

Boom goes the dynamite – Catch phrase started by Ball State University Reporter Brian Collins during his first news cast when the teleprompter was moving too fast for him and he became extremely flustered.

9:30 showing of Jesus – Describes the 9:30 Sunday morning service at a church that has multiple services. Most often known as the contemporary service.

Person one: Where you at church this morning, I didn’t see you.
Person two: Yeah we had something to do this afternoon so we went to the 9:30 showing of Jesus.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

ROC yeah

So I think I’m going to start using my blog space to review movies and events and make other commentary on things relevant to me. So here is my first review/commentary: I’m not sure if anyone else was aware of this, but apparently they have a huge tree at Rockefella Plaza every year and they put little lights in it and prettying it up. I wasn’t all the interested in the tree, I’ve seen plenty a tree with lights in them before, but I was interested in the singing people they had before they lit the tree. When I turned the TV on Aretha Franklin was belting out a tune in an outfit that I believe she borrowed from Lady Ga-Ga. The size of her dress would have been appropriate for a woman of Ga-Ga-s size, and she either ha d a birds nest or a Christmas reef covering her face. The next performer just about had me lighting my own tree right there on the couch! Shakira sang “Santa Baby”, and she had me jealous of an overweight man in a velour suite! Basically the point I’m trying to get across is that I’d like to climb down that chimney and leave a present. Then low and behold Matchbox 20 came out and sang a Christmas song about New York. They kept calling Matchbox 20 Rob Thomas, but they weren’t fooling me, I knew who it really was. Good God Jesus, Joseph and Mary, Alicia sang the worlds slowest version Little Drummer Boy, As far as I know Alicia is still singing. Maybe she’s going for Boyz-II-Men’s record of longest version of a song? After this Barry Manilow came out fresh from the wax museum and sang without moving any part of his face. Either Rod Stewart wasn’t prepared or he completely forgot what he was doing because I don’t see how running a love train at a tree lighting event for Jesus’ birth really put anyone in the Christmas mood. The last performer of the night was Michael Buble, I have nothing to say about him except that I just like to say Buble. So Buble.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

National Crisis

Everyone’s, everyone’s, everyooonnee’s! We have a state of emergency, a national Crisis! A code red, grab the women and children and cast off the life boats for the British are coming! (That’s what she said) During my most recent visit to the Subway I discovered that there must be a shortage of napkins. How else can you explain them only providing me with one single napkin after I added Mayo, spicy mustard, oil and vinegar to my sandwich? They must have known, with their vast knowledge of sandwiches after graduation from sandwich academy, that the master piece of a sandwich that was just created by me with all those condiments will cause a mighty mess. A mess worthy of more than just one single 5 X 5 square napkin. My now juicy, meat slip and slide of a sandwich merits 4 napkins AT THE LEAST! There is no one napkin, no matter how tough and sexy the brawny man may think he is, that can hold up against a Cas Smith Special Sandwich at the Subway. My sandwich was a train wreck on icy roads, olives, onions and meat were exploding not only in my mouth, but all over the table, the floor, and in my pants. And yet with all this carnage Subway thinks this natural disaster can be mopped up with one single, finely printed, Subway napkin? I say nay-nay! Ladies and gentlemen, this poor little napkin that couldn’t was spent after just the second wipe of the mouth. It had nothing left to clean up the olive massacre and onion revolt that was left laying and bleeding on the table. After the third wipe of the oil and vinegar covered chin of this master sandwich creator, the carnage was only intensified, not rectified. I feel it is our duty to call in the Army, the Salvation Army no less, to set up bell ringers outside of all of our favorite Subways to ring their bells of freedom and raise awareness to plight of the poor lonely Subway napkin. In the immortal words of Randy Travis, “Friend of mine bought himself a shovel.” Vi vi la Resistance!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Christmas, you've been served!

Dear Christmas,
I am writing to you to issue a formal complaint of your habitual line crossing, or month crossing as it is in this case. I am sick and tired of only being a side note for your 3 month long invasion. I remember back when, in the golden days, it was considered faux pas to decorate for Christmas before celebrating me. It used to be standard operating procedure to decorate for Christmas on the Friday after me, currently known as Black Friday. Now I am just a day of rest before the biggest shopping day of the year, A shopping day spent buying gifts for you! I myself enjoy Jesus’ birthday as much as the next holiday, excluding Martin Luther King Jr’s day, as that holiday has a dream that all holiday’s will be celebrated equally, but Christmas, you have taken Jesus’ birthday and turned it into a birthquater. Christmas, it is not your manifest destiny to rule the entire calendar. New Year’s eve and I are fed up with your blatant disregard of our holiday status, and Halloween has joined us this year as he feels that you have encroached into his designated holiday space. Fourth of July has started to turn more red than white and blue because he is being pushed from the shelves to make way for your decorations! I don’t know if you know when the Fourth of July is celebrated, but it’s on the 4th of effin July, which is almost dead center of the calendar, give or take a month. I’m not 100% sure on this, because I wasn’t paying attention, but I’m pretty sure Hanukkah said something about him being celebrated in December too. Kwanzaa is very irate and has already held conference calls with Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Louis Farrakhan to get this encroachtion, of the holidation, validation, emancipation, abomination, and some other tion words that I couldn’t even begin to spell, corrected! Christmas, not sure if you’re aware but this is a big year for the Kwanzaa, Michael Jackson died, Michael Jordan was elected to Basketball Hall of Fame, and some guy, you may have heard of him, Barack of Obama was elected president! In closing, Christmas, consider this as the first official warning for you to back off, or else further holiday actions will be taken.



Let's get the blog rolling

Against all my better judgment I have decided to join the blogging community. I will use this blog space to not update anyone on anything, as I will probably quickly forget that I created this blog. Like all new fads in my life this one will soon pass. But until it passes, let's have some fun!