Monday, December 6, 2010

Feeling Regret

I’m going to be honest, I don’t have too many regrets in my life.  I’m very happy with most of the choices I’ve made in my short life.  But right now I have one big regret laying heavy on my heart.  This past Friday night my church had a fund raiser/outreach type event where you could be homeless for a night.  Money was being raised for the Fuller Center, a charity for housing started by Millard Fuller, you guys might know him best as the founder of Habitat for Humanity.  When I first heard of this event, I was very excited, it was something I really wanted to take part in.  But as they say, life happens and I thought I was going to be sent to Canada for work during this event so I pretty much gave up all hope of taking part.  Then last Monday I find out that my trip has been pushed back one week so I’d be able to participate, yay!  Well, there was a monetary donation needed to join in on Homeless for a Night, it was a fundraiser by the way, and on such short notice I couldn’t come up with the money needed.  Why do I regret this so much?  I could have tried harder.  I could have posted on Facebook that I needed donations to make me homeless for a night, I could have written a blog, before this post, and maybe my handful of followers would have pitched in, or maybe God would have put someone on my blog just to read it and donate even more than the needed amount for me to sleep in a cardboard box outside in the cold.  Would of, could of, should of, didn’t happen and now it’s eating at me.  My church is a church focused on the community, they plan to do much more with the Fuller Center, and I know I’ll have other chances to give back but I really want to give this time.  I believe this is only the second outreach event my Bride and I have missed since becoming a part of Refuge Point Church, but this one really hurt.  I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t even go out to listen to the concert put on by our praise band and show support for those poor souls out there freezing.  This has been weighting on my heart since Friday night.  If anyone knows me they know that I don’t show much emotion and I don’t really let anyone know when something is bothering me so it’s been difficult to put this down in digital ink and post it to my blog.  Hopefully I can forgive myself, because I know I’ve already been forgiven. Let me end this pitty party because there is nothing I can do about it now.  If you guys want to be blessed by a worship service and see what a small church can do for a hurting community come visit us at Refuge Point Church, you won’t be disappointed.

1 comment:

  1. Cas,
    Try to forgive yourself. There was a reason this didn't work out "like you intended". We don't know what that reason was and may never know. You are right, you have been forgiven by the ONE that counts!